In this blog post I wanted to share some ways we can turn our pain into power, and how we can then use that power to build on our incredible resilience. Keep showing up for yourself each day. Keep showing up for your loved ones. Keep going.
- Put pen to paper and journal
For me, committing to journaling was a turning point. I felt like I was close to rock bottom and needed a way to get some perspective on the darkness I felt I was being consumed by. Committing to something and showing up for it each day shows you are serious about wanting change, and that you are open to finding a new way of being the best you can be each day. Journaling helps to clarify thought, feelings and emotions. It helps to visualise where you want to go and how to get there. Constant reflection ensures progress and little improvements are being made. Start today.
2. Ask yourself the big questions
What is holding you back right now? What are you fearful of? What would you do if nothing else mattered? How can you reach your full potential? What does your dream life look like? Get curious about life. Ask questions and open up conversations with others – this builds connection and can help you build resilience together.
Don’t stay small. Life is here to be lived.
3. Embrace the loneliness
2020/21 has brought distance and isolation to many of us. But how can we turn this into a super power? Instead of labelling it as ‘loneliness’, see it as a opportunity to reconnect with yourself. See it as a time to figure out what is important to you. See it as a time to connect with your mind, body and soul in new ways. And when you are craving human connection, pick up the phone, organise facetime with a friend, or a zoom party to connect with others again.
4. Find your calm
Stress and our obsession with being busy is human kinds biggest (but not the most obvious) epidemic. Many of us has come to accept that living in a state of “stress” to be normal, when in fact the physical, emotional and mental toll this puts on us can have long term irreversible effects.
Get to the core of your calm. make time for it. Prioritise it. Get to the root cause of why you are often NOT calm. Start making small changes today to honour yourself to bring yourself back into our most natural state of existence. Meditate. Walk. Hug a tree. Write. Find your jam and bring more of it into your daily life starting today.
5. Stop assuming
Assuming makes a “Ass” out of “U & ME”. Ya get me? Making an assumption is simply our refusal to take responsibility. It is intellectual laziness and is taking the easy road. Don’t always rely on others to make decisions for you. People make mistakes and misinterpret things. This is your opportunity to think critically, connect with your intuition and to get curious about life. If you have inner knowing, trust that, do your own research. BE the responsible one.
I bang on about gratitude heaps but I can tell you, hand on heart that it has been transformational for me to focus on being grateful for what I have, rather than worrying about what I don’t have. This way we can live more joyfully in the present, being grateful for what we have and where we are right now, rather than withholding our happiness as we wait for something better to come along. Start today by noting down 3-5 things you are grateful for in your journal.
7. Digital black out
Take a break from screens, from the main stream and social media. Give your brain time to empty it’s digital load so it can recover. Get back to basics. Connect with nature. Get back into old hobbies. Read a book. Relish in the simplicity of life without the background noise that screens unconsciously bring into our lives.
8. Stop pleasing people
When life gets tough the last thing you should be worrying about is pleasing others. Repeat after me “I am not responsible for how others feel”. When we start to realise that it is absolutely improbable to please everyone, we can start to let go of our unattainable expectation to please. Trust your gut. Know what your values, beliefs and morals are, and stand by them.
9. Go for a simple walk
When you feel yourself running out of steam, thinking “I just can’t do this anymore”, remove yourself from your envinroment if you can and get outside. If possible go technology free and discconnet completely. Tune in to your breathing, take it one step at a time, and disconnect to reconnect. It is almost like rebooting your computer. Match the walk to how you feel: slow and gentle or active and fast – go with how you feel and move that energy outwards.
10. Dig deep into hope
Being hopeful is not pretending that troubles and bad stuff doesn’t exist – it is living in hope that they won’t last forever. That the hurt and pain we feel in this moment, this day, this month, will overtime be healed and the difficulties will be overcome. Keep showing up. It is when we keep showing up even on the darkest of days that our resilience strengthens more than we could ever imagine.
I hope these have helped you. Please know that it is perfectly normal to have days where you throw the towel in and feel all the feels. I actually encourage you to do so. But try not to sit there for too long. Make some changes and day by day see how your feelings and mood starts to lift.
If you are having a hard time and need someone to speak to please reach out for help: